PRESIDENTIAL MOTORCYCLES

If we step way back in time to 2008, which motorcycle would best represent each US President and Vice President?  Well, bear in mind that the candidates of that year would have to ride something that their Publicity Consultants would have advised, regardless of their personal preference.

That means they each would need to ride an American bike.

But WHICH ONE!?

Let’s list those past Presidential candidates in alphabetical order and also include their running mates.

John McCain “The Maverick” would ride a maverick motorcycle.  Of course he needs a HARLEY DAVIDSON for that All-American positioning.  Which HD is the ultimate maverick machine?  That would be the XR 1200, which is an anomaly amongst all the big motor company’s offerings.  It’s a Harley through and through, but it’s a performance-oriented bike:  definitely not a cruiser, which, of course, is the class of bike that has made HD world-famous.  And he would have needed to focus on performance to get this country out of its economic mess. However, you would also need to be prepared to listen to even more PR spin as a result of the backlash created when the media highlights that the XR 1200, although made in America, was only available in Europe that year!  The good news is that by 2009, Harley did offer that in the US of A, too. But even so, back then he could have used the publicity for a new election slogan: John McCain for President means XR 1200s for America!

Rugged, outdoorswoman, Sarah Palin, would ride a KAWASAKI KLR 650, with its large gas tank, for on and off road riding through that big, wild, Alaskan state.  Now wait a minute!  A Presidential candidate, not even a Vice Presidential candidate, would dare ride an Asian motorcycle in an election year!  Well, hold on there partner, because this ain’t no ordinary KLR.  This particular version is highly modified by an American company (Hayes Diversified Technologies) and has been under development since 1998.  It is designed to operate reliably and efficiently on Kerosene based fuels.  American manufacturer HDT is under contract with the U.S. Marine Corps to delivery over 440 of these babies, called the M1030M1.   So, Sarah Palin and crew can go ripping up the Alaskan Highway and every 400 miles or so, tap into that Alaskan pipeline to burn that, or practically any kind of fossil fuel encountered along the way.  Stay tuned to hear Mrs. Palin campaigning to get every American riding an  M1030M1, which would substantially lower the country’s dependence on foreign oil!

As a graduate of Columbia University and Harvard Law School, Barack Obama needs to make an American statement:  Mr. Obama would ride a Confederate Hellcat Combat F131.  Founded in 1991, by another lawyer, the Confederate Motor Company came to exist as an “initiative” seeking “enlightened design through true American inspiration.”  I’m sure Mr. Obama helped craft that very statement.  Owners of Confederate Motorcycles include Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Ryan Reynolds, Bruce Springsteen, and at least one crown prince.  Hence, Mr. Obama will be in good company to carry his campaign of change across the land while conveying an image of power and military competence to the rest of the global community.  Watch out world: a man that can tame a hellcat can readily tame the badness and madness of our 21st century world. (On the other hand, his socialist and pro-banker policies that started in 2009 would lend new meaning to the word “confederate” in terms of international politics).

At the same time Barack Obama was speaking to Joe the Plumber in Holland, Ohio, as part of that 2008 campaign season, Joe Biden was only 100 miles away in Marysville, Ohio, where HONDA manufactures the gold standard for big touring bikes: the GOLDWING.  Honda has been making its top-of-the-line motorcycle there since 1979.  But wait!  Mr. Biden found out that time is running out to buy an American made Honda motorcycle.  Honda announced early in 2008 that they would be moving the production of Gold Wings back home to Japan, in the spring of 2009.  (And all that with no layoffs.  All the motorcycle employees will be relocated to car manufacturing).  Well, Mr. Biden certainly could not have been accused of riding an un-American bike back in 2008.  In fact, he could have rode proudly and comfortably while carrying a lot of campaign promises with all that luggage space!

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